


in my eyes he matches the gods

by aberysywyth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, If you're going to read any of my fics let it be this one, M/M, Modern Gods AU, She's a little sad I'll admit it, Soulmates, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25057618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aberysywyth/pseuds/aberysywyth
Summary: "Will there be a next time?""There is always a next time."//modern gods au
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 33





	in my eyes he matches the gods

**Author's Note:**

> hey you! yeah, you! when you're reading this fic you should listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_s3h1CS-c4  
> it's what largely inspired this piece and it's a beautiful piece of music  
> also listen to seal's lullaby and sleep by erik whitacre they're both stunning songs
> 
> the title is from sappho's poem "in my eyes he matches the gods" and the chapter titles are from her poem "it's no use / mother dear..." 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

I. It’s no use / Mother dear

Outside, the rain thundered down on the pavement. It was dark, despite the moon’s best efforts to peer through the thick cover of clouds that barricaded the earth from the sky. The only source of light were the cars that sped by, bouncing streaks of red off the wet sidewalks, but that was enough.

A shard of light caught the man’s eyes in front of him, and Iwaizumi Hajime shuttered. 

“What are you here for?” He called, as the wind blew a clear path away, away, away. It was a sign, and one Hajime had learned not to ignore, but he stood his ground anyways. 

The man tilted his head back, letting the rain slick the thin, white lines of his throat. His hair, a rich, deep brown, clung to his forehead as he met Hajime’s gaze, dripping water droplets down his nose like teardrops.

“The same thing you’re here for,” he said, voice melodic, “a chance to start again.”

“I’m not here for anything. I was called here.”

The man laughed. “That’s the same thing, Iwa-chan.” He grinned, eyes far too knowing. 

“No, it’s not.” Hajime gripped the staff at his side as the man stepped closer. “They say there are creatures of the night in this part of town. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about them, would you?”

“Would I?” The man hummed. “I’m not the one you’re looking for, Iwa-chan.” There was a pause in the rain, and their eyes met once more. 

“But you know of them?” 

“Of course I do. But who am I to betray my brothers?”

Hajime laughed. “You have no allegiance to them.”

Dangerously, the man smirked, a shadow falling neatly over his eyes. “A Hunter knows not the affairs of the Immortal, Iwa-chan. You’re pushing your luck.”

“I’d say I haven’t pushed it, yet.”

It was the man’s turn to laugh. “Oh, you’re fun. You should come back on the solstice, so we can play.” Hajime fixed him with a withering look. “As for tonight, the Crows rise. Though I’d hate for you to go down with one of them.”

Hajime let his gaze stray from the man, adjusting the pack on his shoulders. “I won’t. I know you’d be terribly sad to lose a new plaything.” When he turned to face the man once more, they were close enough to touch.

“You’ve heard of me?” The man murmured, voice carrying on the wind. 

Hajime scoffed. “Who hasn’t?” He flipped a coin into the man’s hand. “See you in another life, Tooru.” The man’s dark gaze grew delighted before he disappeared, blurring neatly into the shadows until nothing remained. 

“Good luck, Iwa-chan.” The voice was at once in Hajime’s head and out, but he wasn’t alarmed. This was not the first time they had met. Nor would it be the last.

“I won’t need it.”

II. I can’t finish my / weaving

  
  


The bowstring grew taut under Hajime’s fingers, creaking faintly, and Hajime’s thoughts stilled.

Beyond, two figures stood, illuminated only by the single flickering street lamp that threw shards of light into the dark ebony wings of one of the men. The other’s wings glew on their own volition, fiery orange feathers matching the being’s ferocious orange mop of hair. 

“I wouldn’t, if I were you.” A deep voice rumbled from behind him. Hajime turned with a glare, meeting a familiar half-lidded gaze. 

“Issei.” Hajime growled, arrow still in position. “Come to ruin my life more than you already have?”

The dark haired man smirked, foot tapping out an even rhythm on the concrete. “Daichi won’t be thrilled if you off his proteges.” He hummed. “Even if it’s your job. So I’m here to save your life, actually.”

“Daichi has no business being a patron to these two.”

“Daichi can do whatever he pleases, Iwaizumi. He’s a god.” Their eyes met, and Matsukawa clicked his tongue. “Besides, they’re not hurting anyone.”

The wind shifted, faintly, the brisk scent of the leaves carrying through the air, followed by the softest hint of snow. Across the city, Hajime could see a storm brewing, dark clouds nearly blotting out the slowly rising sun.

“Yet.” Hajime murmured, but his grip on the bowstring loosened. “They will be powerful, Issei. More powerful than you and I can control.”

“I know.” The orange haired one yelled, clear and loud as day, and the sky brightened in response. “Trust me, I know.”

“Would it not be better to stop them now?” Hajime could see the answer in his eyes.

“No.”  _ Yes. _ “It is not in your best interests to meddle with fate.”

“I’ve done it before.”

Matsukawa eyed the scar that graced his forearm. “And how exactly did that go?”

There was a beat. Hajime let his bow drop to the ground. “I am alive.” 

“Indeed you are.” A voice interrupted.

Hajime turned, meeting a familiar chocolate colored gaze. “Oh good,” he grumbled, “all the assholes are out tonight.”

Tooru’s answering laugh was bright. “How rude, Iwa-chan. It’s almost as if you don’t want a patron.” Matsukawa snickered. 

“If it’s you, I’ll pass.” Hajime said, nails picking at a crack in the concrete. Matsukawa murmured something to Tooru, low, before disappearing on a gust of wind. 

After a moment Tooru moved to kneel next to him. He looked especially ethereal then, a crown of white yarrow gracing his curls. The rising sun, cutting through the clouds, filled the dips in his skin with golden light. Hajime waited for him to speak.

“They’re destined,” he whispered, somber, “to defeat Wakatoshi.” The breath blew out of Hajime’s lungs. 

“God-killers.” Tooru nodded. “No wonder Daichi is their patron.”

“You could replace them, should you get a strong enough patron.”

Hajime laughed. “Not in this life.” Tooru peered at him curiously. “No, this time, it’s their job.”

Tooru opened his mouth, a question in his eyes, but Hajime stood before he could speak. Behind him, the sun continued to rise, unusually bright in the face of the fiery God-killer. It was chased, narrowly, by the storm that blotted out the horizon. The scent of snow hit him once more.

“Beware, Tooru,” Hajime spoke, slow, as Tooru’s fingers came up to tangle with his own, “of the God-killers. They are more than they seem.” His hand was warm, fingers solid in between Hajime’s.

“I am not afraid.” He said, frowning. The flowers of his crown blew in a phantom wind. Hajime tightened his grip on the other god. 

“Courage is often the same thing as stupidity. Your courage will result in your demise.” Tooru’s eyes were wide. Hajime gently let his fingers slip away. He grabbed his bow. “I have warned you before, and I will warn you again.” He said, soft. “Do not forget.”

Only the wind followed him as he walked away.

  
  


III. You may / blame Aphrodite

  
  


“Were we lovers, once?” Hajime forced his eyes away from the battle in front of him, meeting Tooru’s pained gaze. A monstrous crack of thunder shook the ground, and Hajime’s fingers tightened around the wound on the god’s stomach.

“Once. More than once.” The rain pounded on his back. “I forget. They tend to blur together.” In the west, a fireball shot through the air, illuminating the massive form of Ushijima stretched across the sky. 

Tooru’s fingers clutched his wrist, cold. “Why not now?” He asked, searching Hajime’s face. 

“It was not destined. I cannot change destiny, no matter how hard I try.” 

“But if I survive?” 

Another crack shot through the air. “You will not.”

Tooru laughed, bitter. There were tears welling in his eyes. “You warned me, Hajime.” The shock of hearing his true name spoken broke Hajime from his stupor. “All that time ago. I did not forget.”

One of Hajime’s hands came up to trace Tooru’s cheekbone. “No, you did not. Maybe next time you’ll head my advice.”

“Will there be a next time?” Tooru murmured. There was so much pain behind his chocolate gaze, but it would be over soon. The form in the sky roared. Hajime watched a silver figure shoot across the horizon like a star.

His fingers clutched Tooru’s wet curls. “There is always a next time.”

“Will we be lovers then?”

The clouds parted, for a moment, illuminating the cerulean heavens. The dim light of the moon flooded the clearing. “The time will come, Tooru,” Hajime said, in a voice not all his own, “when we will be together at last. You will not have to wait long.” 

“Good.” Tooru huffed, satisfied. His breath came in short spells, and Hajime knew Death hovered just over him. “Good. I cannot wait, Hajime.”

“Me neither.” Hajime bowed his head to the god’s chest. The golden blood seeping from Tooru’s wound stained the ground, teal flowers sprouting from the earth where the drops landed. Hajime’s tears parted the blood. “Me neither.”

  
  


IV. soft as she is / she has almost

  
  


The sun rose across the hills, another day, golden, as the ones before it. The trees shook slightly on a phantom breeze Hajime could not detect. Around him, in a manor of gilded stone, the light washed over the flowers and paintings that crowded the walls, reflecting off the tile and into Hajime’s dark eyes.

All was new, and yet all was the same.

“What am I?” He murmured, peering down at hands that glowed with an immortal sheen. 

A deep voice answered, from the shadows, “You have been remade as a god, Iwaizumi Hajime. From your mortal life your deeds have been recognised.”

“A god?” Hajime repeated, breathless. “The god of what?”

There was a beat, and a figure appeared in front of him. Matsukawa, though Hajime did not know that yet. Would not know that for a long time. 

His black hair russled in the breeze. “The god of time, Iwaizumi.” 

“Time? What am I to do?”

“You will know when the moment arrives.” Matsukawa said, sounding almost sad. “Right now, there is a god you must find. He will aid you.”

“What is his name?” He asked. 

Matuskawa’s eyes met his own, filled with the wisdom from a thousand lifetimes. “Tooru.” He said, and Hajime felt the world tilt out from under him.

“Tooru.” He breathed. The name felt  _ right _ , like a piece of him slotting back into place. “I will find him.”

“Good.” The god huffed, glowing with some divine power. “He needs you, Iwaizumi. Much more than you can ever guess.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime.” The name slipped from the brunette’s lips like a blessing. “I was told you would come.”

Hajime met the eyes of the god in front of him, trying not to get lost in his deep gaze. “You are Tooru?” He asked. The god tipped his head back and laughed, such a simple action far too beautiful.

“Have you not heard of me?” He smirked, hand brushing against Hajime’s outstretched one. “I am the god of the land, Iwa-chan. I am the savior of the people.”

Almost as in response, the flowers around them shifted, blown neatly into rows. Miles and miles of yarrow and sage stretched into oblivion. 

“I apologize.” Hajime said, brow furrowed. “I have been reborn. I do not know of mortal affairs, anymore.”

“Reborn?” Tooru breathed, shuffling closer. “You are special, then. No wonder they have sent you to me.” The faint scent of him, clean water and something more pure, caught Hajime’s nose.

“I suppose. I was told you could help me.” 

“And help you I shall, Iwa-chan!” Tooru threw his arm across Hajime’s shoulders, ignoring the scowl that graced his features. The touch was warm. “Until there is nothing more I can teach you.”

It was dark, only the faint light of the moon to illuminate the surrounding meadow, and, for the first time, Tooru was dying. 

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan,” he murmured, hand grasping Hajime’s shoulder. There were tears streaking down Hajime’s face, wiping a clear path through the dust on his cheeks. “I should have listened. The God-killers show no mercy, truly.”

“No, they do not.” Hajime huffed, clutching the wound across the god’s chest. “Perhaps you will live, Tooru. Perhaps your time has not finished.” The lie passed through his lips, smooth as silk. 

Tooru caught it with a quiet smile. Even in death he looked ethereal. Almost peaceful. “You and I both know the truth, Hajime.” His hand brushed against Hajime’s cheek. “There are many things I wish you and I could have done.”

The wind blew the faint scent of smoke towards them. Tooru’s hand tightened on the back of Hajime’s neck.

“They will come, one day.” Hajime breathed, glowing with immortal light. “I will ensure it, Tooru.” 

The god looked almost stunned in his last moments, fingers clutching at Hajime’s face. “Do you promise?” He asked, and for the first time his features turned scared. “Hajime, do you promise?”

“Yes, Tooru.” Hajime felt the god’s life slip through his fingers, and the tears continued. “I promise.”

“What am I to do?” Hajime screamed, though at who he did not know. His hands, curled into fists, were bright, shining with some power or another. It made no difference, if he could not control it. “Tooru is dead, what am I to do?” 

His breath came in short huffs, and when a figure appeared behind him, he did not hesitate to lash out with his power. A whip of golden light flew from his hands, and the man caught it with ease. It dissolved to nothing in his grip. 

“I am not your enemy, Iwaizumi.” Matsukawa, said, tears spilling from his cheeks. 

“Who else is there?” Hajime seethed, stalking towards the other god. “Who can I blame for this cursed life I’ve been given?” He gripped the front of Matsukawa’s tunic, hard enough to rip the fabric. “ _ Who _ ?”

“There is no one. The fates have given you this power, and you must learn to use it, again and again.”

For the first time, fear coursed through Hajime’s veins. “What do you mean?” He breathed. 

A loose sob spilled from the other god’s lips. “This is your fate, Iwaizumi.” Matsukawa looked at the sky, something like regret in his dark gaze. “You must live through all of Tooru’s lives. You must watch him die in every one until you reach the end.”

A strangled noise erupted from Hajime’s throat. “What is the end?”

“I am not sure. But it is not death, I am sure of that. Perhaps you two can make a happy ending for yourselves.”

“He is to be reborn? Again and again?”

“Yes.” Hajime collapsed on the ground, still clutching the other god. “He will remember nothing from his past lives. It is your job to find him, everytime.”

“Why?” Hajime screamed, breath clawing at his throat. “Why me? Why  _ him _ ?”

Matsukawa’s hands gripped his own, urging their gazes to meet. “Only you have the power, Iwaizumi. You two can escape it, in time.” Hajime’s sobs did not lessen, even as the moon traveled across the horizon.

The darkness pressed against them, everlasting. Unavoidable. But after a while the faintest hint of the sun cut across through the night. Matsukawa’s hands still clutched Hajime’s.

“There will be an ending, to all this.”

  
  


V. killed me with / love for that boy

  
  


Outside, the rain thundered down on the pavement, pittered against the shuttered windows of Hajime’s apartment. It was dark, only the soft yellow streetlamps illuminating the drops that slid down the glass. And Tooru’s hand, gripping Hajime’s, was warm against his bare chest.

This time, Hajime had nothing to fear.

“Is this it?” Tooru murmured, eyes alight. “Is it over?”

“It is.” 

Tooru shuttered. Hajime’s arm tightened around his shoulder. “How do you know?” 

“You’re here, with me. And you remember.” 

A streak of lightning illuminated Tooru’s features, for a moment. His smile was wide, cheeks flushed with happiness, and Hajime’s chest lightened in response. His grip on the other god grew stronger. 

“I don’t regret any of it, Iwa-chan.” He breathed. “I’d do it again if it meant getting here.”

The slap of the rain increased against the pavement. Hajime cupped the other god’s jaw, admiring the sharp lines of his face, the brightness in his eyes. 

He looked happy, in that moment, and Hajime would’ve given anything for him to stay that way.

“I’ve waited so long for this, Tooru.  _ So long _ , but I would wait another ten thousand years to be with you, if that’s what it took.” 

Tooru’s hands shook as they cupped Hajime’s face. Tears began to slip down his cheeks, glinting softly in the dim light, and Hajime brushed them away with his thumb. “It’s over, Hajime.” He said, smiling with all the joy in the universe. “It’s finally over.”

Cutting through the clouds, the sun emerged, beams of light setting the sky ablaze. Even the rain seemed to stop to watch as oranges and reds flooded the clouds, slipping through the light of Hajime’s window. 

In that moment, a new eternity had been written, and as Hajime pressed his lips to Tooru’s, all was well.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> also ps yarrow in flower language is everlasting love and sage is immortality teehee
> 
> any feedback is appreciated!! thanks for reading


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